I know that we have all met the frustrating publics on xboxLIVE and the Playstation Network. In fact those people are the reason XMG is successful. We have all grown tired of dealing with the public idiots out there who seem to be on a never ending quest to promote stupidity & douchebaggery (to steal a word from Mr.Rutherford‘s Online Dictionary). Online gaming stupidity comes in many forms there are the…
- Cloud Killers, these are people who spend the entire game shooting up in the air or spinning in circles in the middle of the street. I always imagine that in real life this person bears a striking resemblance to the character Sloth from the Goonies. I can just see them looking straight up, laughing & laughing as they spin round & drool just slids down onto their man bib. The only thing goofier than the cloud killer would be his idiot cousin…the Ground Killer (self explanitory), And somtimes these two are the same person swapping from clouds to dirt to clouds to dirt…& the cycle continues until their mom finally makes them go to bed.
- Then there are the The Non-Killers, who spend the whole game staring at the same wall without moving, only to be killed, spawned & rekilled over & over again causing everyone else to carry their load. They usually finish the game with an amazing 0/25 kill/death score & are most likely passed out in their recliner with Mountain Dew pouring into their laps as the game continues. I only pray that they wake up thinking that they urinated themselves while they slept!
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We cannot forget The Team Killers, who for some reason think that it is tremendously fun to run around the map shooting team mates & frustrating all those unfortunate souls who were unlucky enough to be randomly assigned to their team. I’m still puzzling over why Modern Warfare 3 stopped using the “Boot after 3 team kills” rule! Come on Infinity Ward…I blame you!
- There are also The Keeps You From Being a Killer, this special person loves to just stand in front of you, hop up & down & locking you into a corner not allowing you to move. All of these tactics of stupidity are meant to keep you from being a killer & are great at getting you both killed by the enemy…loads of fun!
But recently I was introduced to a whole new type of “xboxLIVE public stupidity”.
The SELF KILLER! What kind of person if this, you might be asking yourself. Well let me educate you on this new breed of stupid. The other night after loosing 2 community players, from what had been an ALL XMG room we were blessed with 2 publics (playing split screen from one Xbox) who took our frustrations with public players to a new high & our hope for the human race to a whole new low.
These were the self killers, who would intentionaly seek out your bouncing bettys & claymores, lay in front of them or stand beside them, shoot said explosive device thus killing themselves.This was, in what we could only assume, an attempt to prevent our team from winning & they were very successful at it.
So, what have we learned from this? We have learned (or more likely been reminded) that some people are just plain stupid. And sadly, despite our current advances in the field of medicine, there is no cure for stupid!
